Mrs. M. S. Subbulakshmi, an Indian Carnatic singer who was the first lady to be awarded the Bharat Ratna, the highest civilian honour. But before all of that, she was an artist, not with brushes and paint like me but instead with her beautiful voice. Her passion intrigued me and her voice held a special place in my heart, just like it did to millions of her listeners. Her music remains nostalgic to me as it was a significant part of my childhood. While her soft voice caressed me, her high notes brought a certain high over me that pushed me harder to achieve anything and everything I desired. She made me feel empowered as an artist. As you might have guessed, the first encounter I had with her was at a cassette store, when cassettes were still a thing then. I saw a huge poster of her holding an instrument, displayed on one of the aisles. The picture held an aura of her personality and I really wanted to have one of her portraits in my room. Then the thought of painting it myself occurred which led to the fairly small, 8 x 8cm canvas I had painted of her in one of my previous projects, Art48.
That is how it started, my interest in painting her. I wanted to create a series of her paintings for about 11 years now but unfortunately it hadn’t come about. But when the 100 days project was in the process of being planned, the only thing that was as clear as the sun to me, was to have her as my first subject. It wasn’t just about painting her; it was about knowing her better.
The first few days of this venture, I had trouble with adjusting and planning my day accordingly. Many unexpected things had come up and it left me restless and distracted. But I tried my best to get things under control. There have been many instances where I would paint a certain piece and during the process, I would feel happy and satisfied with it. But a few days later, I would look at it again and not feel the same. It was hard to keep track of my thought process during this time and not lose myself while creating.
The medium I chose to go about with this series was mostly watercolours but a few acrylic and oil paint canvases were thrown in there too. One of the toughest challenges during the project was to transform black and white pictures of her to flesh-toned and/or multi-coloured pieces and make them my own. Finding her pictures turned out to be a difficult task as well, internet wasn’t as much help as I thought it would be. Good resolution pictures happened to be rare.
I realised this project had not been as easy as it sounded at first. The routine of putting all my emotions into painting every day and recovering from that, and coming back the next day with similar vigour as the previous day, had been as exhausting as it had been challenging. Towards the end of series, when I had to do the last two paintings, I had decided to take the canvases home and paint. I painted with one of her songs playing in the background and the result of the last piece really surprised me. Usually, I get the feeling that the last paintings don’t do well, either because I keep being in a rush or the excitement of the project has died down. But I am happy that wasn’t the case this time. I will give it sometime before I release the last 3 paintings images (little suspense does no harm).
However, it has been gratifying to finally be able to fulfil my goals and she has been an inspiration throughout. I aspire to devote myself to my art form just like she had with hers. It is still a long way to go but I’m taking it one canvas at a time. It is Monday now but I’m going to catch up on my weekend sleep before starting on the new subject, so stay tuned!
